Help Me (under)Stand
by ImJustCaitlin
Summary: Have you ever watched a butterfly emerge from it's caccoon, and stumble around in confusion? Yeah, well, if you have, you'll know how I felt. Lost, scared, overwhelmed, alone. Well, maybe not that last one, there was Nod. And even if he didn't really know how I was feeling, I did appreciate the shoulder he lent me to cry on. MKxNod ALT ENDING
1. Chapter One

**All I can say is this; I was extremely impressed with the movie, but there was a point in the plot that I wasn't sure where the story was going to go; it could have split into one of three ways. This is what I imagined one of the ways would look like.**

* * *

Chapter One

The air seemed to stand still the moment the pod bloomed. I don't really know how I knew, but the world stopped spinning for that one second, and it was as if even the beating of my bird's wings ceased. I could almost taste the anticipatory wonder that was the birth of the new Queen, thick and sweet like sap, and as the heavy thud of my Father's footsteps started to fade, the wing-beats of thousands of bats hot on his heels, I turned my head towards the soft glow emanating from Moonhaven. It was as if the whole world held its breath, desperately awaiting the return of its Queen.

The slurry of thoughts slowly trickling through my mind were decidedly positive about the event; I don't remember registering the implications of the Pod's blooming without me just yet. I didn't really have time to think too hard about it. As soon as the moment began, it was over, and before I knew it I was falling through the air, knocked from my bird (well, not exactly MY bird really) and landing on the soft peat of the pond side. The impact wasn't especially painful; I wasn't quite sure how the physics of my seemingly super human ability to absorb shock on impact worked, but I wasn't going to complain. But it did set my vision to spinning for a bit, and it was a good minute before I was able to gather my bearings and remount the hummingbird who perched not far away.

The happenings of the forest around me mattered little at the moment; I was vaguely aware that something shot out of Moonhaven with a considerable amount of force behind it, and from the quick glimpse of the gnarled knot it left in the tree it hit, I had a feeling the mystery projectile had been Mandrake. Pushing that aside though, I landed on the outskirts of the crowd just as the object of the crowd's attentions came into focus. Bathed in green and white light, stood the demure figure of a Flower Child, cloaked in the breath of the slain Queen as the roar of approval erupted from her peers. It seemed as though the Pod had indeed bloomed, and the new Queen had been selected, and the magic that had brought me to this world had long since faded. I didn't even know it yet, but I had been too late. My chance had passed me over.

My relief at the moment far outweighed my disappointment, due largely to the fact that my brain was still a bit fuzzy from the battle and subsequent fall. But as I wove my way through the miniature audience, I caught sight of two familiar Leafmen, slumped against the Blooming Pensive, half-laughing, half-gasping for breath. The older of the two, Ronin, was chiding the younger, Nod, though from their expressions it was clear the exchange was nothing but good natured.

"Can't you two just admit you love each other?" I said, somewhat sarcastically, as I approached, setting my hands on my hips. Nod immediately rose to his feet, and I was pretty sure I heard Ronin mutter "I thought we just did…" though I chose to ignore it.

"Hey!" Nod said, walking over, "You're still here?" It was a question as well as a summation, and his expression conveyed his confusion. He must not have been aware of the mandate that I need be present at the blooming for the effects of Queen Tara's spell to be reversed.

"Yeah, I am," was all I could think to answer, my mouth going dry as I said it. It wasn't until he uttered those words had I fully understood what all of this meant, and as soon as my brain wrapped itself around the concept, it started to panic. My hands begun to shake, though I attempted to hide it by clenching them into fists and shoving them into my front hoody pocket. The last thing I wanted was for cocky Nod to think I was scared. I had faced a thousand Boggans without blinking an eye and had looked miniature death in the eye more times than I could count that night, and yet now was the time I chose to panic? Like he would have understood that.

"I, um…I'm sorry. But, y'know…I'm kinda not." Offering me a crooked smile, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, and I couldn't help but reciprocate the expression, though my face felt like doing anything but smiling. I wanted to scream, and jump and run back to my Father and beg him to try and find a cure. I wanted to tear through Nim Galuu's archives, searching for any kind of answer or spell to change me back. I wanted to sink to my knees and cry; I had lost my Mother, and now I had lost the world that she'd been a part of. Never again could I go back to our old apartment, look through our old photo albums (without being crushed by the pages), smell her old shirts for just a tiny whiff of her old perfume. I wanted to curl up and never think about any of this again; but all I did was smile.

"Are you okay?" I was ripped from my thoughts as Ronin straightened up, with some difficulty, and walked over, laying a hand gently on my shoulder. It was a loaded question I knew; I looked a mess, and anyone not paying attention to my slightly shaking lip or vacant expression might have assumed he was only asking about my physical wellbeing. I knew better though.

"…I don't know," I finally replied, meeting his gaze, and giving him a look I hoped conveyed the approximation of my feelings. I wasn't sure if he knew exactly what I was trying to tell him, but he seemed to receive enough of the message; nodding his head slightly, I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder, before he withdrew it.

I had been so wrapped up in my own little world that I hadn't realized the room around us going silent. Spinning around to stare into the faces of the forest people looking on, I found myself nose to flower petals with the new Queen. She had made her way across the room to us, and cleared her throat before speaking. She seemed uncomfortable to be speaking to me with such a large audience around her, which was understandable. She may have been who the Pod chose, but she was still only a child. Her mother hovered nearby, a slightly apprehensive look on her face.

"She, I mean, Queen Tara said something to me, when I became, well, you know," she motioned down to her new appearance, referring to her change in status. "It was about you." My heart skipped a beat at these words, and my breath caught in my throat. It was Queen Tara who had brought me here; had she instilled the same power, the power to return me to my own world, in the new Queen? "She said that she was sorry. Her powers could only extend so far after she left us. And she told me to tell you that we, I mean, her and I, we can't turn you back."

A very audible 'Oh,' passed along the crowd, reaching everyone's lips but mine. I was motionless, wordless, thoughtless. So that was it. There was no catch, no twist, no nothing. I was not going to be returned. This was it.

"M.K.?" It was Nod who spoke up first, stepping forward to catch my arm, which I promptly yanked away.

"I'm going to find my Dad," was all I said; it was all I could say, before my voice broke. I turned and ran before anyone could catch sight of my chin starting to shake, or my eyes watering up. I couldn't let them all see me cry, couldn't let him see me cry. What was I, some sort of over emotional freak? I had barely cried at my own mother's funeral, and now I was tearing up over this? It was stupid, is what it was. And yet, I couldn't stop the fat tears rolling down my cheeks and flying into the air as I jumped my way down to the forest floor, and started to run.

Nod could have caught me, had he given chase. He didn't. Half of me was grateful, and the other half was confused and angry. I didn't know what to feel, besides sadness. Panic. Pain. I had risked everything about my existence for this forest, and now I was paying such a high price. And the real kicker was that, I didn't regret my actions. Had I not given my father the location of Moonhaven or told him to play the frequency to attract the bats, the forest would have been completely decimated, and it would have been my fault. No, I wasn't mad about the actions I took that drew me away from the Pod. I was upset over my situation in general. And while I knew it was selfish of me, I couldn't help it. My brain wasn't thinking. It was just feeling.

I heard him before I saw him. He came crashing through the forest, just as clumsy and loud as Nod and Ronin told me, eyes scanning his surroundings, searching for a sign of life, for a sign of his daughter. Leaping up to the top of a nearby fern, I caught his attention and he scooped me up in his hand, incredulous that the plan had worked. His words were slow to my ears, though I knew he must have been speaking a mile a minute to anyone of normal size.

"It worked!" he boomed, adjusting his googles to switch me over to a frequency he could understand. "I can't believe-"

"Dad," I said, catching his attention before crossing my arms tightly across each other. "I…I'm not…I-I"

"Mary Katherine? What's wrong?" he said, expression morphing from that of extreme elation to one of concern. "Are you hurt-"

"No, yes, I don't know!" Tiny, tiny tears fell to his palm, though I doubt he felt them. "I'm gonna be stuck. Like this."

It was like the fates aligned at just the perfect moment. Just as I sank to my knees, perched on my father's outstretched hand like a withered little beetle, bawling my eyes out into my own hands, up rides Nod on his old weathered sparrow, witness to the first ugly-cry I'd had in a very long time. And the thought of him seeing me ugly-cry made me cry even harder, which in turn resulted in an attack of hiccups, which only made matters worse. Both he and my dad seemed speechless for a moment, before the latter encased me in both hands, mercifully shielding me from the eyes of my onlooker. I couldn't decide if I was grateful for the protection or even more upset at the prospect of looking as much like a weak, belly-crawling bug as I felt like. I tried not to think too much about it as my dad carried me home.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

* * *

I buried myself in the soft material of the cashmere sweater my father had fished out of my suitcase for me. It was piled up on the desk, a mountain of off-white fluff, and all I could do was try to bundle myself tighter. My Father was racing around the house, searching through his notebooks, clicking through computer files, trying to find any information, anything at all he might have come across in is studies to suggest a 'cure' for my current predicament. I watched through glazed eyes as his efforts turned up fruitless, and heaved a heavy sigh. My tears had run out long ago, and my cheeks were sticky and salty from the trails left by my outburst. My eyes felt puffy, and no doubt looked red. A pile of messy hair atop my head just completed the picture.

I knew he wouldn't find anything. Science nor magic could come up with an answer. I was stuck, and while my brain hadn't yet come to terms with the fact, I knew it would soon need to. There was no point in being upset forever, though being upset for the rest of the day seemed reasonable enough. My twenty four hours of misery were cut short, however, when a small knocking came at the workshop window the next afternoon.

After a near full day of moping and feeling miserable for myself, I was just about to set into another bought of inconsolable silent-crying, when something caught my attention, providing a momentary distraction. My dad didn't hear it, but I did, and he eventually noticed me unbundle myself and walk over to the edge of the table. Turning, he squinted, and then shot me a worried look. On the other side of the window pane stood Nod, pressing his hands to the glass.

"Would you like me to-" my dad started to say, but seeing as his words were far too slow for me, and I already knew what he was getting at, I cut him off by shaking my head, and jumping over to the window sill.

"It's fine, Dad," I said, knowing that his headset would translate my words to a frequency compatible with his ears. Rubbing my nose on my sleeve, I walked right up to the glass. Nod wasn't really who I particularly wanted to see right now, nor did I want to cry in front of him again. But he was here, and Lord knew he wouldn't leave until I talked to him. And, since I wasn't scheduled to cry uncontrollably for another forty minutes, I figured it would be fine. Though I was still embarrassed about my outburst the night before, I decided to suck it up. "What are you doing here?" I asked through the glass.

"I'm sorry, I was worried about you," he replied, his voice muffled and quiet through the transparent barrier between us. "Worried that you might, you know, not come back." I was slightly offended that he would suggest that I was selfish enough to hole up in my father's house forever, so absorbed in my own sadness that I'd refuse to function…but wasn't that what I was doing right now? I had told myself that it would just be today, and after, I'd force myself to reassimilate. But I was never the type to stick to my resolutions with that much conviction. Hell, I couldn't even keep my New Year's resolutions! Who was to say I would have extended my little pity party to tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next…

"No. I'm coming back, I just need to, I dunno, defrag." I crossed my eyes to stare at an errant piece of hair hanging in my face, and blew on it to get it out of my field of vision, to no avail. Nod merely held my gaze, hands still planted firmly against the glass.

"Prove it." This surprised me, and I looked up from where my gaze had fallen to my feet, and I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows in surprise. Prove what? That I wasn't going to just sink back into my little swamp of misery? Why was he doubting me? Seeing my hesitation of response, he stepped away from the glass and ran a hand through his hair. "Just come out here, come back! I just want to know that we're not gonna lose you. …That I'M not gonna lose you."

"Nod, I'm not one of you," I sighed, crossing my arms and hunching ever so slightly. "I don't belong with the Leafmen."

"Yes you do! What are you afraid of? They already love you! You sacrificed everything for us, MK, if you think they'd be so petty as to think, just because you were born different-"

"No! Of course not! It's just-" I was having trouble finding words to describe what was going through my head, and I could feel my eyes tearing up again.

"What, then? Look," pressing a hand once again against the glass, his voice softened from the yell it had risen to. "I know you're scared, and I know you feel like you've lost everything. But, you haven't lost anything! You're just, you know, smaller."

"He's right," I turned as my father spoke, though when I did he instantly looked embarrassed and turned to leave. In his haste, though, he ended up overturning several canisters holding various pens and tools, and when he tried to catch them, he ended up causing the contents to clatter to the ground, spread out around the room. "Sorry! I'll just be going now!" Watching the things he knocked over fall in slow motion did put a small smile back on my face. Even though he and I had absolved our problems, he was still the goofy, clumsy guy who would trip over his own shadow if you were to give him the chance. But watching him stagger out, in exaggerated slowmo only served as another reminder that, even though I was still physically there, I would never again be a real part of my father's world. I would always be the fast moving little cricket-girl, and he would be the loud, blundering, slow-moving behemoth. Turning my watering eyes back to Nod, I slowly put my hand up to his, spreading my fingers against the cool glass.

"It's not the same," was all I could say, before biting my lip to hold back a sob. As my forehead bonked against the glass, Nod's free hand pressed against where my cheek would have been, had there not been the invisible barrier between us. "I'll never be the same again!"

I stayed like that for a long time, until the silent tears had stopped. I was still for so long, in fact, that at some point (the passage of time meant hardly anything to me) Nod had mumbled something about coming back for me, and left. And when I was alone, I slumped down to curl up on the window sill, and fell asleep there. I woke up sometime later to the sound of my father, typing away on his computer. Looking around, it occurred to me that I was tucked into the sweater I'd taken shelter in earlier, and it wasn't that hard to guess who had put me there.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

* * *

"I don't know if this is small enough for you-" My father gingerly set a thimble beside me, inside a tiny amount of what smelled like coffee. I could tell he was trying to be careful and not spill any, but honestly, he was moving so slow I probably could have caught it were it to slip from his fingers. The thimble in question was rather large, and somewhat difficult to drink from, but I appreciated his effort. And after a long night of thinking and rethinking what Nod had said to me, I needed all the caffeine I could get.

Slumping down in the spinning chair opposite where I sat on his work table, He let out a sigh and leaned his elbows on his knees. He wanted to say something, I could see it on his face, but he just didn't know what. What do you say, after all, to your daughter whose been shrunken to the size of a quarter?

"I think that little fellow was right," he began, looking everywhere around the room but at me. "You should really go check in with them. They're probably-"

"Worried? Yeah, I know." Pulling my knees against my chest and wrapping my arms around them, I buried my face in my knees. "I know I should, but, I just feel…awkward. What would I even say?"

"You could….uh…" Due to the time perception and distortion, his pauses seemed painfully long, and I was getting fed up with this ridiculous mode of communication. How was I supposed to have a conversation with my own father if it took him five minutes to get out two sentences? "…Here!" Standing up, quickly to him I supposed, he grabbed at something held to a corkboard with pins, and held it out, open-palmed to me. "Take this back to them! It's been here for quite a while, I found it near the old-"

As he rambled on about the little cloak, woven from what looked like petals of some sort, I zoned out, holding the item of clothing in my hands. It was incredibly soft to the touch, and the miniature stitches holding it together were perfectly spaced and even. It was a wonderful coat, even rivalling some pieces of clothing I'd owned at full size. As I examined it, I didn't notice my dad taking other little bits and bobs of the Leafmen's from the corkboard, and setting them in a pile. "Now that I know that they exist, I don't need them," he told me, and I just nodded numbly.

"I don't think I can carry all this stuff back on my own," I said, voice devoid of any affect at all. Letting the other trinkets sit by my feet, I slipped my arms through the petal coat. "I'll just take this. I guess this is an okay excuse."

"I'm sure they'll be wanting their stuff back-" my father went on, setting his hand, open palmed, on the surface of the table. Clambering on, I pulled the lapels of the oversized coat up to hide my face in. It still smelled vaguely of the flowers it was once, but an over-powering scent of marshy peat completely overtook any flowery undertones. Judging from the size and smell, I guessed it might have once been owned by a frog, but I couldn't really be sure. The only thing I did know was that it was softer than even my cashmere sweater, and I never wanted to take it off. "Here, I'll just take these, in case you want to-" Grabbing a few of the other items; a stray boot, a half-crushed helmet, a boggan mouse pelt and an itty bitty hummingbird bridle, he lurched forward, almost throwing me out of his hand, and started out the door.

It took a while to even reach the forest, and I knew that I could have travelled faster myself, though I hardly had the motivation. So I sat back and let him carry me, at least only so far. Once we were about halfway between the house and the Colony, I stood up, grabbing the helmet and the bridle as I did so.

"I can go from here, Dad," I said, turning to stare up into his goggled face. It was a little unsettling, having to talk to him only when he was wearing the contraption that let him slow down my words and movements. I think maybe he could see the nervousness in my face, because he pushed the headset up and over his forehead before speaking again. Bringing me up very close to his face so he could hear me, he had a slightly apprehensive look on his face.

"Don't get hurt," he said, his voice so loud I had to cover my ears for a moment. "Be back before dark."

"Don't worry about me, Dad. I'll be fine." If he could have heard my words at the proper frequency, he would have noticed how unenthused I sounded, or how monotone my voice was. But I'm sure, without his goggled he couldn't. None the less, before I jumped out of his hand, I walked across his palm and kissed his cheek. To him, it must not have felt like anything, but he smiled anyway, and I nearly teared up, thinking about how much I wanted to hug him. I nearly tore our relationship apart, and now I couldn't even hug him? This was cosmic justice at its finest, and boy was it bitter.

With the half smooshed helmet under one arm and the bridle under the other, I jumped from his palm to a nearby fern, landing nearly weightlessly on one of the fronds. Hopping from frond to frond, I finally made it to the ground, and started off in the direction of the Colony. True, I didn't want my father coming with me, but the idea of showing up alone scared me just as much. What was I going to say? Shove the coat and helmet and bridal at them and run off? No, I'd have to speak with someone, and I just wasn't sure I was ready for that.

I knew the leafmen would welcome me back and greet me happily and cheer me as I approached; I was a hero to them. But I didn't want any of that. I didn't want their adulation and praise; I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to quietly bleed into the background; invisible and undisturbed to ride out the rest of my misery. But I guess if I had refused to come here today, my father would have found another excuse to get me to return to the Leafmen, if only briefly. He was weird, but he was a genius, after all. He would have found a way.

And while I was walking, turning this all over in my head, I didn't notice the slight, nearly imperceptible movement going on above my head. It was just the rustling of a leaf; or so I thought. I had yet to learn the expanse of Leafman tactics, and while I knew espionage and covert surveillance seemed like logical abilities for the Leafmen elite, I didn't really think there'd be a reason to use it on me.

Unknown to me, a silent ripple went through the network of relays above my head, passing through only a handful of Leafmen, until it reached the intended recipient. When he was warned of my approach, he abandoned the post he'd been stationed at by a certain Commander, and hopped on the aged bird he simply refused to abandon.

"MK!" I heard him before I saw him, and my head whipped around, trying to locate where the sound had come from. A sparrow sailed down through the branches t my left and landed a few feet from me, atop it rode Nod.

"Hi," was all I said; I didn't really have any other words on my mind. It came out sounding sort of strained, and I saw a look of concern pass over Nod's face.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" he asked, hopping to the ground and removing his own helmet. "And what are you wearing?"

"It's a coat," I replied, a little defensively; I liked this coat! "And you were the one who said you wanted me to come back. Well, here I am!"

"Yeah, but, I sorta figured you would have held out in your Dad's house for a while." He said this rather sheepishly, as if he hadn't wanted to admit how stubborn he thought I was. And granted, it did hurt my feelings a bit, but I had to admit; he was right. On my own, I would have held out stubbornly for longer. "I thought you'd take more convincing."

"Nope. I'm here. And uh…here." Shoving the helmet into his already full hands, I attempted to fill the awkward silence I'd created. "These were on my dad's corkboard. He doesn't need them anymore." Setting his own on the ground, Nod turned the damaged one over in his hands.

"Yeah? Neither do we; this is seriously outdated, not to mention the massive dent put in it." He smiled that crooked smile of his, as if laughing at a child handing him a paper mache helmet.

"Oh, uh, he told me to give you back this bridle too, and this coat. But…I kind of want to keep the coat." Pulling the soft fabric up to inhale the deep, earthy scent, Nod laughed, and took a corner of the sleeve between his fingers.

"This doesn't even belong to the Leafman," he said, "It looks more like a frog coat. Smells like it to." I shot him a look, one that clearly read "Do not knock my new favorite coat," and a bit of his smile vanished. "But, you know, if you like it, it's yours! It, uh, looks good on you-" Shoving his shoulder playfully, I rolled my eyes, and for the first time in two days, cracked a genuine smile. It felt sort of nice, being able to smile about something again; like my face had been under a mud mask and this tiny movement had cracked it. It was freeing. And it did not go unnoticed by Nod, who beamed back at me. "Hey, there's that smile! I was afraid I wouldn't see it again!"

"Yeah, I guess you making an ass of yourself really puts a smile on my face." It was sarcastic, sure, but it wasn't monotone, and even I could hear bits of my old demeanor peeking through between the cynicism.

"C'mon; Ronin will be happy to see you coming back from the edge of the abyss, he's just over at-"

"Wait." Nod had grabbed hold of one of the over-sized sleeves, and was trying to pull me over to his sparrow, but I stood rooted to the spot.

"What's wrong?" As I tried to answer his query, I wasn't really sure myself what was wrong, or why I didn't want to go see Ronin and the rest of the Colony. I just…didn't. I wasn't ready to see the rest of them. Somehow, in my mind, going back to see them all would only solidify the idea that I was now forever a part of their world and their world alone. And I didn't think I'd be able to handle that at this point. I tried to give him a look that communicated all this, as I didn't think I'd be able to get it out to him without bursting into tears again, but he just stared at me, a vague look of concern on his features. He didn't understand, and I doubted he ever would.

But what I didn't realize, is that he did understand. He understood that this girl that he cared about, who had cared about him and his people enough to sacrifice everything for them, was upset. And while he didn't know the specifics, he knew that he wanted to make everything better. He didn't know how he was going to do that, but taking me in his arms was a good start.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

* * *

It was a little strange, to say the least. Having spent so many hours as a little girl playing dollhouse, it was somewhat eerie walking the little hallway myself. It was pretty lucky that my dad had kept my old pin dollhouse, even if it was still too big for me. It was an improvement, though, and I could sleep in the tiny little bed without getting swallowed up by the ocean of sheets, like I had the night before in my full sized bed. Though I did have to deal with Ozzie shnuffling around the whole place every fifteen minutes, as if confused as to how the dolls had sprung to life.

Two days had passed since I'd been out of the house. I wasn't in such a slump as I had been before, but the inkling of worry I fostered in my heart was still there; I still wasn't ready to visit the Colony. I didn't really understand why myself yet, but all I knew was that I couldn't face them. But it wasn't all bad; after all, Nod did try to sneak away on a semi-regular basis to come visit me.

"Whoa, nice place," he'd said sarcastically, the first day he'd caught me poking around in my dollhouse. My father, good natured but a little on the clueless side, had brought him in and set him down on the tiny fake porch.

"Oh, shut up." I tossed a tiny pillow from off the miniature couch at him, which he ducked and stepped inside.

"Do Stompers regularly keep tiny replicas of their homes?" he asked, still in uniform. He must have slipped away during drills. Again.

"For your information, it's a toy, for children. I's called a dollhouse, and you put tiny little fake Stompers in it and pretend their alive." Realizing how silly that must sound to someone who'd never even heard of such a thing, I just rolled my eyes and went back to looking around. It was rather dusty, from disuse, and I made a mental note to sweep up the place later.

"That sounds…totally weird. I'll never understand Stompers." Plopping down on the sofa, a little cloud of dust puffed up around Nod, and settled back down on his shoulders. Sneezing, he attempted to brush the dust off of his shoulder plates. "How long's it been since this was cleaned!? Jeez, dust like this never settles at my house."

"I told you, it's for children so I haven't….wait, did you say 'my house?'" I was yanked from my current train of thought by the realization of what Nod had said. "As in, you have your own house?"

"Well, sorta. It's not very big but, what did you expect? That I slept out in the open?" He tossed me a sideways smile and leaned his elbows on his knees.

"I, uh, I don't know what I thought. I sorta thought maybe there was some sort of, I dunno, communal living?" Nod laughed at me for this, and I threw another pillow, which hit him square in the face. "Hey, I don't laugh at you for not knowing about Stomper things!"

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry! Stop assaulting me with these little cotton spores!" I sat beside him on the sofa, careful not to raise another dust cloud.

"They're called pillows. And see? No laughter."

"I said I was sorry, what else do you want from me?" With his body halfway turned to me, I could just make out the slight smirk he wore in the dim light; since the dollhouse was closed up at the moment, none of the light from the lamp was getting in. But it wasn't that hard to make out his expression, seeing as his face was so close to mine.

"I don't know, seemed pretty insincere to me," I said, voice only just above a whisper.

"Then, how about this?" Even the dust couldn't put a damper on my mood, which was higher than it had been in days, as Nod leaned forward, bridging the gap between us, and pressed his lips to mine.

* * *

My fingers curled and uncurled as I counted the days; six. It had been six days since I had last seen Ronin and Mub and the rest of the Colony. I was sure Nod had been relying that I was fine to everyone, but I knew they must still be worried. This wasn't exactly normal, after all.

The wind was cold for a mid-summer evening, and as I sat and watched the painfully slow movements of my father's hand as he sketched the various contraptions Nod had brought for him, I couldn't help but think about my mother. She loved nights like this; the smell of rain on the air, promising a downpour before we woke the next morning. It was nights like these that she would tell me, "MK, you smell the change in the air!" and I would ask her what change smelled like, and she would always answer "Lightning!" Ever since I was little, she would say this to me, and I would always roll my eyes and tell her lightning doesn't have a sell and that she was silly. Looking back, I felt silly for never taking her seriously.

"What's on your mind?" Blinking away the memory, I lifted my gaze up to Nod' face, as he stared down at me, legs tucked under my chin and hands wrapped around my knees. I shrugged my shoulders, but he wasn't buying it. "No, don't give me that. Something's eating you. I'm not blind, you know." He took a seat beside me, crossing his legs and leaning back on locked elbows.

"I was just thinking about my mom," I finally said, suddenly very interested in my nail beds. "She had this silly thing she'd always say to me and…I was just thinking, maybe it wasn't so silly after all." We were both silent for a long moment, and when I looked up into Nod's eyes, there was a look in them that I couldn't quite place. Something between curiosity and anxiety.

"She was a lot like you, wasn't she?" he asked.

"I guess so. We got along better than me and my dad ever did. She was pretty serious, except for this one little saying." I paused, and when he motioned for me to continue, I let a sigh tumble past my lips. "She would say that you could smell change in the air, like lightning. I don't know why, but it just popped into my head just now. It's kind one of those nights, I guess.

"And, you know, I could never figure out way she would say this to me. She was so rational and serious about everything else! It was like she'd take a five second break from reality to tell me the air smelled like lightning! I never understood that!" I had always felt a little helpless around my mother when she'd say this, like that one little phrase could throw off her whole caretaker vibe. It would make me doubt, even for just that one moment, that she was the adult and I was the child. And it was all because I just didn't understand it. Nod sat silently beside me for a long while, and then, as I caught the movement of his shoulders as he let out a breath, he turned his head to look at me full on.

"Do you understand it now?" he asked, and that one question set me back a little. Well, of course I understood it; the air was damp and heavy, ready to let loose a midnight torrent, and that was what my mother had always been referring to. But as I continued to think about it, I was reminded of a time, way back when I was very small, and my mother and father were still together, I could remember her telling it to me for the very first time. It was right before her and I left this house, and my dad, for good. And she'd told it to me, a few days before I'd started middle school, and right before I'd taken my driver's test, and just before she'd died…

It had been her way of telling me to roll with the punches. The universe wasn't always kind or predictable, and it would sometimes send you rain. But it didn't always have to be bad, and as long as you could strike out into your new situation with conviction and courage, like lightning, you'd be alright. I'd be alright.

My gaze had wandered off, but turning back to Nod, I lifted my chin slightly and brushed my hair out of my eyes.

"I think I'm ready to go back to the Colony." I said, to which he grinned.

"That's my girl."


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

* * *

Pressing myself closer to Nod and hugging my arms around him tighter, I held in a squeak of terror as he rolled his sparrow to avoid an oak branch. This was just as terrifying as driving with my friends back in the city; they were just as crazy as Nod! Would I ever get used to this?

"Are you TRYING to squeeze the daylights out of me?" he asked back, turning his head to look at me sideways.

"Eyes forward, eyes forward!" I yelled above the wind, and Nod swerved to the left just in time to avoid an oncoming tree.

"MK, relax, I've got everything under con-AHH!" As if specifically to undermine his words and simultaneously scare the ever loving crap outta me, the universe chose that specific moment to drop the biggest maple leaf the tree could possibly produce right onto us. Of course the weight wasn't enough to ground the sparrow, but it did send him spinning off course, and I hung on for dear life as Nod tried to regain control.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on! Hang in there buddy, it's alright!" he reassured his mount, who extended his little bird claws and landed on a low-lying branch nearby. Out of immediate danger, I unclenched my vice-like grip on Nod's sides and let out the terrified breath I'd been holding. Twisting in the saddle, Nod smiled at me for a moment while he caught his breath, before taking a breathy laugh. "See? Totally under control!"

"You…are…a crazy man!" I said between breaths, chest heaving as I attempted not to start hyperventilating.

"Naw," he countered, "You should have seen Ronin in his younger years; now THAT guy had some crazy…MK, are you alright?" His smile disappeared as he noticed I wasn't calming down; my breaths were still labored, and I felt like my insides were churning. And I knew it wasn't just from the crazy ride; we were so close to the Colony, so close to facing everyone, that my nerves were getting the best of me. I didn't think I could do it.

"I don't...know if I'm ready," I said, eyes wide, and I clutched at my chest. "I don't think I can…do this!" Still turned towards me, Nod reached out and took my face in both hands, lifting it slightly to look him in the eyes.

"MK, listen to me! You are one of the strongest people I know! You CAN do this. I know you can, and I'll be right beside you, okay?" His thumb rubbed out a tear that had started to fall from my left eye, and I tried to nod yes.

"Okay, okay…I'm okay," Taking a deep breath and reaching up to rest my hands on top of his, I smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You know I'll always be there for you, kid. It's the Leafman Code. No one is ever alone." Smirking ever so slightly, I tossed him a mischievous look.

"Since when have you become such a studious Leafman? Last time I checked, you 'fly faster alone'."

"Aha! There's that sarcasm!" He laughed and turned back around, grapping the reins and cracking them. "Now hold on, I think I feel a barrel roll coming on!"

"God, no more barrel roooOOOOLLLS!" My complaint was cut off as Nod pushed his bird straight off the branch and into a nose dive. I barely had time to grab his waist, but as I hugged closer, I felt just a little better about the whole thing.

* * *

Ronin's days off were few and far between. But I'm sure, on this particular afternoon devoid of drills and exercises, he didn't expect to see his least enthused student show up on his doorstep.

"Nod?" he asked incredulously. "This is…strange, to say the least. You usually can't wait to get away from training."

"Yes, yes, if everyone's done talking about my 'enthusiasm' for work, I've brought someone to see you. To see everyone, actually." Stepping aside, Ronin was able to get a good view of me slipping off the saddle and getting my foot caught up in the stirrup. This spooked Nod's bird, who attempted to hop away, but only succeeded in dragging me with it, as I was still tangled with it.

"Stop it, ow! Jeez, I'm trying to help the situation here!" I pleaded with it, trying to kick my foot free. Nod, slapping his forehead, came over and untangled me. Landing on my back, I let out a groan, before realizing that my graceful dismount had a rather bemused audience.

"MK," he laughed, walking out onto the branch extending from his front door, "It's good to see you!"

"Okay, I'm ready to go now," I said, my cheeks glowing scarlet, as I attempted to remount the bird. Nod would have none of it, though, I grabbed me around the waist, hauling me off the bird and setting me on my feet in front of Ronin. "Nod, let go of me!" I shrieked, but to no avail, and I gave Ronin a clumsy smile as I was set in front of him. "Uh, hi Ronin." I waved awkwardly, not really sure how to greet the usually-stoic General. Breaking into a huge smile, though, he surprised me by leaning down and hugging me. This seemed to surprise Nod just a bit as well, as I caught the look of astonishment on his face, before he replaced it with a smirk.'

"I was getting worried, to say the least," Ronin said, releasing me from his grip, but letting a hand rest on my shoulder. "God knows Nod wasn't any help. Would have been nice to know an ETA." Giving a pointed look at his student, Nod's eyebrows went up.

"Hey, this was a last minute thing! I tried to get her out here sooner!" Laughing again, Ronin just shook his head.

"Well, it's good to have you back. The whole forest's been asking about you, you know." Swallowing hard, my smile started to melt into a look of apprehension.

"...They have?" I finally asked, not really sure exactly how to feel about that. Whether good or bad, I was never really a fan of publicity or attention. I always tended to blend into the background. Sanding out wasn't really my forte, though I supposed I'd just have to get used to it now. Being the only Stomper among a horde of tiny-folk was just my reality now.

"Wondering where you've gone, what happened, how you've been doing. It's terrible, not being able to give them any answers. They're so easily spooked." Nod had come up to stand beside me as I fidgeted uncomfortably with this new information. "The new Queen has even asked for you. She was disappointed when I had very little to tell her."

"She asked for me?" I asked, a little awed.

"She feels terrible. Like it's her fault. She wanted to apologize." The three of us went silent as I turned this over in my head. Of course it wasn't her fault; it was mine and mine alone. If I'd wanted to get bigger so badly, I should have stayed put. But I still felt terrible that she blamed herself. She was only a child.

"I'll go talk to her," I finally said. "It's not her fault. None of it is." Ronin smiled down warmly at me, and behind us, I could hear Nod's sparrow chirp, itching to take off.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

* * *

Ronin lead us to the Throne Room, which wasn't really a room at all. Come to think of it, it didn't contain a throne, either. It was a small glen, tucked away in a field of tall sweetgrass, peppered here and there with various types of lilies. Dew from the night's rain hung precariously from the grass tips, and the ground underfoot was soft and smelled of peat. Two Leafmen soldiers guarded the front entrance, and once inside, I saw that the grasses overhead had been woven to form a latch, keeping the rain out and leaving the dirt and moss and underneath dry. There were several small passageways leading out from the far side of the glen, and I figured, those must lead to living quarters. In the middle of the clearing stood the Queen with her mother, talking with several more Leafmen.

"You're sure the Boggans have receded?" the Queen's mother asked anxiously.

"Completely, your Majesties. We've tracked the very last of them back to their miserable rot. I don't anticipate we'll have any more trouble from them." The Leafmen who was speaking saluted, before a second piped up.

"But we're keeping a constant vigil on them, Ma'ams. If they so much as sneeze on our side of the forest, a hundred Leafmen will be at the ready to protect you." Her mother still looked weary, but the Queen reached up and took her hand.

"We'll be safe, Mom. The Leafmen are totally awesome warriors! I mean, did you even see the way they fought all those bats!?" Smiling down at her child as the Leafmen turned to leave, she caught sight of Ronin, Nod and I, and nudged her daughter in our direction. Catching sight of us as well, the flower child broke into a huge smile, and rushed right over. "MK! You're back!" Brushing Nod to the side, much to his discontent, the Queen hugged me around the waist; she was too short to hug any higher.

"Yup, I'm back," I replied, unable to keep a small smile from gracing the corners of my lips. She was the Queen, but still a child; of course she would still act very childish.

"MK, I'm soo sorry! I didn't mean to make you so sad!" she said, her voice muffled as she pressed her face into the fabric of my hoody. "I'm really sorry!"

"Hey, listen, it's not your fault!" I've never been good with kids; let's just get that out of the way now. It was rather awkward for me, seeing as she was both a kid and the Queen; double wammy of 'I-Don't-Know-What-I'm-Supposed-To-Do'. Patting her head awkwardly, I smiled down at her, feeling bad about the tears that were building up in her little eyes. She shouldn't feel this way, it was my fault for staying away so long. If I'd just sucked it up like an adult and come to talk to her sooner, she wouldn't have felt so bad. But leave it to me to only think of myself. Good going, Mary Katherine. "I was just a little freaked out, you know? But, look, I'm fine now!"

"You're here for good?" she sniffled and stepped away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. I must have hesitated a moment too long, because her face looked like it was threatening to fall back into a sob, but as soon as I nodded that, yes, I was going to stay, she broke into a grin and punched the air. "Yes! I knew you'd say yes! Awesome, we're gonna have a new Leafwoman!"

"Lilya," Stepping forward, the Queen's mother put her hand on her daughter's shoulder, casting her a cautionary glance. "Don't assume things like that, dear. MK might not have the right, er…motivation to become a Leafwoman.."

"Don't be silly, of course she does! She'd make a great Leafwoman!" I got the feeling that her mom didn't have the greatest of faith in me, and I didn't really blame her. The way I'd ran away and holed up in my house? It was pretty pathetic. It was nice, however, that the Queen had such great faith vested in me. That, at least, made three. Her, Ronin and Nod.

Clearing his throat, Ronin stepped over and rested his hand at my elbow. "I know of someone else who's been dying to hear from you," he said, which was his polite way of indicating that we shouldn't bother Her Majesty anymore. Cracking a grin, Nod led the way out of the Throne Room, and I got the feeling he knew who Ronin was talking about. I had a pretty good idea as well, though I wasn't really all that keen on confirming my suspicions.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"I…I think so."

"No pressure, okay? I want you to do this, only if you want to do it."

"I'll be okay, really. I'm ready." For my sake, Nod kept his flying at only minimally-life threatening, but even so, my stomach was still churning. And why shouldn't it be? Nim Galuu was, first and foremost, a showman. No doubt there would already be a sizable crowd at his tree, milling about waiting for him to do something spectacular. He would turn my reappearance into an all-out bash! Was I really up for that kind of mental agony right now?

No, I had to do this. I had to jump in, both feet first. If I didn't, who knows when I'd ever get the courage to come back. It was now or never, and I knew it. But it still didn't calm down the butterflies that plagued my insides.

Besides, I wasn't going to be alone. I had Nod and Ronin. And if worst came to worst, I could hide out in the archives. Maybe I'd even poke around a bit; wasn't it Nim himself that told me my path forward is paved in the stories of my past or something deep and thought provoking like that?

The landing was at least smooth, and as we made our way inside, I felt my heart leap into my throat; of course the place was packed. Nim was on one of the various balconies that stuck out of the trunk above the audience, doing one of his silly numbers, and the crowd below him cheered, unaware yet of my existence among them. Slipping quietly through the crowd, I felt my hoody being tugged over my head, and looked up to see Nod straightening it over my hair.

"Just thought you might not want a whole lot of attention," he said, a sheepish smile spreading across his face.

"We should probably wait out his little…performance," Ronin mumbled; it was clear that the Captain of the Leafman wasn't very enthusiastic about the archive keeper's brand of extravagance. Weaving through the throng of forest beings as inconspicuously as possible, we came to stand in a little nook at the outskirts of the crowd, and Ronin settled down in a cross-legged meditation stance. His face was anything but meditative, though, as he obviously disliked these frivolous shenanigans as much as I did at the moment.

Hunched over slightly, trying not to seem out of place (though that was hopelessly out of the question) I let out a heavy breath and scanned the faces of the crowd. None of them were personally familiar, though I'm sure that most of them knew who I was. And even if these unnamed forest folk weren't actively worrying about me, they sure as heck were going to cheer and celebrate if Nim was to find me here and drag me on stage. It was all I could hope for that the show would end and we could have a private word with the glowworm.

"His shows just aren't the same without the threat of decay, huh?" Nod asked sarcastically, draping an arm across my shoulders, and I couldn't suppress the eyes roll he so rightly deserved.

"I've never been one for flashy things," I retorted, tugging on the drawstrings of my hood absently. "I'm really more into simple, rational stuff." Ronin let out a grunt, most likely in agreement, and I had to suppress a laugh. I supposed he and I were more alike than I'd originally thought. But Nod was having none of that; taking my arm and dragging me out to just inside the edge of the crowd, he took one of my hands in his and pulled me closer. "What are you doing!?" I hissed, eyes shifting back and forth nervously.

"Relax, no one will recognize you. Besides, you seem like you could use some non-rational fun." He grinned at me, catching my other hand. "Just follow my lead!" The music from the band swelled just then, and with a jolt I realized what he meant to do.

"I can't dance!" I tried to tell him over the music, and while I suspect that he heard me, he merely held a hand to his ear comically and shrugged. Swallowing hard, I tried to convince my feet not to make a fool of me, in front of these people, in front of him. I could barely keep a beat to stomper music, let alone forest music, and I wasn't exactly revered as the most graceful of girls. But this didn't seem to faze Nod at all; interlacing his fingers with mine, he spun me around suddenly, before tossing me out, and rolling me back in.

I tried to follow what he was doing, but more than once I tread on his feet, and I just couldn't get into the swing of the music. Unaffected, Nod did his best to keep me in time, and honestly didn't seem to mind my clumsiness. Halfway through the song though, he pulled me right up against his chest to whisper something in my ear.

"You're too worried about catching on to the steps; just let loose!" he told me, and before he pulled away, he pecked my cheek. Although my face was no doubt crimson, I swallowed my nervousness and tried to take his advice. And, for the life of me, it started to work. As I stopped worrying about how I looked, or even being seen, I started to flow more evenly with the music, and this little clumsy dance of ours actually started to be fun! I even pecked Nod right back as I glided past him, and after a while, my hood slipped off of my head, and neither of us noticed.

"See, you can dance!" he shouted over the music, smirking at me.

"You DID hear me!" I said as Nod pulled me in from a spin, and just as the music reached it's climactic end, he dipped me down, and neither of us could contain a laugh. Unfortunately for us (more for me) the music stopped unexpectedly, and a spotlight landed on the both of us.

"What a fantastic dance!" Nim Galuu called from his balcony, squinting in our direction. The crowd shifted to look at us, still unaware, for the moment, who the two spotlighted dancers were. But as realization swept over them like a tidal wave, finally cresting and reaching Nim himself, shouts began to raise around the enclosed performance space and folks stated to try and get a better view.

"MK!?"

"It's her!"

"She's back, she's back!"

"MK and Nod, they were the ones dancing!" Pulling me up out of the dip, Nod shifted himself to stand between the advancing crowd and myself. Ronin leapt up in the same moment, before just content to see the young people actually spending their youth wisely, but now worried about the crowd and it's proximity.

"Nod! MK!" Nim shouted, waving up from the balcony; he obviously hadn't meant to call us out like that, though I was sure, had this happened differently, it would have happened anyway. Turning to glance at Ronin, the two Leafmen exchanged a pointed look, followed by a curt nod from the older. Nod, taking his superior's cue, turned to me, and without any warning, picked me up in his arms and shouted 'Hang on!' This took me quite by surprise, but I didn't have any time to let out more than a disgruntled 'Ooof!' as Nod leapt up, balcony by balcony, until we were standing beside the giant glowworm.

"Had I known you two would be here, I would have thought up a better performance," he said, leading us through a passageway, deeper into the trunk of the tree and farther from the crowd.

"I'm sort of glad you didn't," I mumbled, catching my breath. Ronin caught up to us, brushing aside the curtain of lichen that hung in the doorway.

"They're all out there, asking for you," he said quietly, motioning in the direction of the assembled forest folk. I just shook my head; just thinking about confronting all those people, having to talk to them, like a speech, it made my head feel dizzy. In fact, I must have wobbled slightly as we walked, because Nod was immediately right by my side, arm wrapped around my waist to balance me.

"We've all been worried aboutcha, kid," Nim said as we finally entered a large opening inside the tree. "We didn't really know what had happened."

"You're going to have to make some sort of formal announcement, you know," Ronin said. The look on my face must have been terrified, because he followed with "Either that, or you'll have to go around, telling groups of people individually over and over." I paused; that sounded way worse. As much as I was worried about the attention, having to explain myself over and over was just that much worse.

"Why can't I just quietly reassimilate?" I asked, slumping down on one of the benches, surrounding the center of the 'room' in a little circle. I guessed this must have been some sort of living quarters, or where Nim held parties, or something of that sort. "Is that too much to ask?"

"It doesn't work that way with us," the older Leafman continued, joining me on the bench. "No one is ever alone, so no one is ever forgotten. Everyone was worried. Everyone needs answers." I was quiet for a long moment, staring at my feet, before leaning back and letting out a frustrated groan.

"Uuuug. Okay, fine. Nim? Call your people."


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

I hadn't really given much thought to what I was wearing, but now that Nim had brought it up (ever so subtly: "You were wearing this the last time I saw you! This won't do!") I realized that I couldn't live in this hoody forever. It was already getting pretty dirty, what with running around a forest and riding birds and whatnot. To remedy the situation, Nim called in his personal seamstress, who, joy upon joys, was the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life. Living life the size of a quarter had upsides, but also a massive downside; Miss Nancy was twice my height and just one of her fangs was as long as my hands, finger tips to wrist.

Nod noticed the look of deathly horror on my face, and assured me that I was in no danger (after laughing a considerable amount after learning that Stompers were deathly afraid of spiders.) 'They're some of the most polite creatures you'll ever meet,' he told me, but I still wasn't convinced.

After taking my measurements, she scampered off to retrieve the needed materials, and I turned to face my entourage with a face like I'd just confronted a ghost.

"You're really telling me that, even though Stompers are so huge, they're afraid of SPIDERS!? Of all the things to be afraid of, spiders?" He just couldn't get over it, even when I 'playfully' punched his arm.

"Nancy couldn't hurt any forest folk, even if her life depended on it," Nim assured me. "And she's the best seamstress I've ever met. Quickest, too. I wouldn't be surprised if she walked through that door right-"

"Finished!" Miss Nancy came scampering back through the door way, several of her legs occupied with little bundles of what MK assumed was her new clothes. "As I was making these dear, I thought to myself, Nancy, you make too many green clothes! Too many! And with your hair, dear, green is just so played out." She reached a leg (arm?) out and brushed at a stray lock of my red hair, as if admiring it. "So I thought, why not red? I know it's a risk with ginger hair, but I think, with your complexion, you can pull it off!" Taking one of the bundles and unwrapping it, she revealed a shining red jacket, obviously spider's silk, with golden trim and small, intricate embroidery at the hem.

"This…it's amazing," I said, too much in awe of the delicate handiwork, and the speed at which it was produced, to care that she was a spider anymore.

"Why, thank you, dear! It's nice to be appreciated for your work, you know! Lord knows Nim doesn't appreciate me enough." She gave the glowworm a sly smile, and Nim mock-pouted.

"I'll buy ya a new nest," he said, jokingly. "Ten new nests! A hundred! I appreciate ya, Nancy, I really do!"

"We'll see," she said, laughing, and handed me the other bundles. I started to unwrap them myself, revealing simple brown leggings and a white undershirt. The simplicity of the other clothes didn't matter; the jacket was really the only thing that needed admiration. She also handed me a pair of simple brown boots, and as I stood, admiring the garments, Nod and Ronin sat, unaware that I was merely waiting for them to leave to get changed. Nancy scuttled off with Nim as he went to 'gather and prep the crowd', and still they sat. Men.

"Ahem." I cleared my throat awkwardly, and rocked back and forth on my heels. Realization hit both of them simultaneously, and they both stood up, heading for the doorway. Ronin turned the corner right away, but Nod lingered, staring at me with a goofy smile. He only lingered a moment, though, as Ronin's hand fell on his shoulder and pulled him out of the doorway after him. I let out a small laugh; he was such a doofus sometimes. Slipping out of my hoody and skirt, I quickly changed into the clothing I'd been made, and only as I was slipping the jacket over my shoulders did I realize how perfect everything fit. That Nancy was no joke; she really was the best seamstress.

"Ready yet?" Nod called as I was slipping on my boots.

"Yeah, you can come back in now," I called back, and I straightened up just as the two of them appeared in the doorway. "What do you think?" I said, shoving my hands in the little pockets of the jacket. "Did she do an awesome job, or did she do an awesome job?"

"You look amazing," Nod said, same goofy grin adorning his face.

"Miss Nancy was right, red does suit you," Ronin said, walking over and leaning down to inspect the intricate embroidery. I was about to thank him, but just then, a burst of applause floated through the tree and into our little holding room. So the announcement had been made. That meant it was my cue.

The archive moths had been flitting about over our heads for a while now, from room to room, back and forth, but three specific moths floated to my side then, and tugged on my sleeve, beckoning me in the direction of the main balcony.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming," I said, somewhat dismally, and shot a worried look to Nod.

"Knock 'em dead!" He winked at me, but I couldn't even muster up a nervous laugh in response. All I could do was attempt to swallow the lump in my throat and make my way down the passageway, into the open. I halted just behind the curtain of lichen, hesitating for just a tad too long. My insides were churning and I just wanted to close my eyes and block everything out; obviously that wasn't going to happen. Seeing my silhouette through the lichen, Nim stuck one of his arms through and, grabbing my hand, pulled me through. Dumbfounded, I stumbled into the public eye, and my appearance was met by an eruption of applause.

"Here she is, folks! You know 'er, you love 'er, she's the girl with enough guts to take on a horde of Boggans AND win; I give you MK!" Stepping back, the glowworm motioned for me to step up to the front of the balcony and address the crowd. Smiling nervously and shuffling forward, I was a little overwhelmed by the noise. I really was missed, I guessed. I suppose I didn't realize just how much I'd done for them, and how much they appreciated me for it. But I wasn't even able to speak until a good two minutes had passed and the cheering died down.

"Uh, hey," I finally said, voice shaking slightly. I realized I'd have to shout to be heard; Forest Folk didn't have microphones, which I should have guessed already. My stammered greeting was met with good natured laughter, though, and a few 'hey's from the crowd in reply. "I, uh, I know you've all been wondering where I'd gone, after that night, and, uh," I paused, wiping my hands on my leggings, as they'd grown sweaty from the nerves. "I just wanted to say, sorry, for disappearing like that. I just needed time to think, I guess. One day, you think you're looking at a forest full of plants and the next you're the size of a pea and realize you're actually surrounded by a bunch of little people!" This elicited more laughs, and my nerves started to calm. This wasn't so bad.

"Are you back for good!?" a lone voice from the crowd called out, and was followed by a bunch of 'yeah!'s and 'Are you?'s

"Yes," I answered, nodding once, and again, it was met by raucous applause. Smiling behind me, Nim stepped forward and called for the band to start playing again, and only then did Nod emerge from the lichen curtain.

"You're such a natural public speaker," he said, smirking at me as he walked up. The audience was back to their party, and only a few eyes still lingered on the balcony. "You should do it as a living."

"Shut up!" Taking his helmet from under his arm, I shoved it on his head and pushed it over his eyes, and we both broke into laughter.

"Hey! Jeez, this is what I get for giving you a compliment? I'd better never insult you, I might not live to tell the tale!" Tipping it up just enough to peek at me from under the rim, he smiled that crooked, cocky smile of his, and I just couldn't resist. I knew I was still in plain sight, but I leaned forward then, and pecked his lips.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hey!" I really wasn't aware that slugs could move that fast, but it was quite sudden that Mub's voice broke the kiss up, and spinning around, I saw him and Grub make their way up the side of the center tree trunk and onto the balcony. Slithering over to get right inbetween Nod and I, he stretched up to stare Nod right in the face with his stalky eyeballs. "What do you think YOU'RE doing, huh Leafboy?"

"That's leaf- ahem, LeafMAN to you!" He was so caught off guard, that his reply was weak and feeble at first, but clearing his throat, he stood a little taller and tried to stare the slug down as he finished his reply.

"Ooo, what a big man, mackin' on another man's girl!" he said, and I had to stifle my giggle. "What, you think she's interested in THAT," he motioned to Nod, "when she could have aaaalll this?" Swiveling around, his scowl melted into a smile as he turned to me. "Is he botherin' you, MK? Cuz, I'mma 'bout to show this boy what happens, when you mess with Mub the slug, and his main squeeze!"

"Pardon my compatriot, he's a still a little compromised from the stress of the battle." Grub came up, at a slower pace, and nodded in greeting to us. "It's good to have you back, MK. I was so worried. And…" Leaning in, he held up a hand and whispered, "I haven't gotten Mub to shut up about you since the battle."

"Way to back me up, Grub," Mub mumbled, and at this I had to laugh; I had definitely missed these two. "So, baby girl, what kept you so long? I was startin' to get worried!"

"Like I said, I just had to sort through…everything." I shrugged; there really wasn't an adequate way to explain everything that had gone on in my head during my absence. Mub raised an eyebrow, not entirely buying it, but I was thankful when he didn't push the matter too much.

"Well, next time you got something on your mind, you come to me."

"I'm sure she'll keep that in mind," Nod interjected, and smirked at the nasty look Mub shot him. Narrowing his beady little eyes, the slug pointed to his eyes, then at Nod and back again; I supposed this was a universal 'I'm watching you' signal, seeing as even Stompers did it. As Grub caught his companions' attention with a query about something or other, Nod took my hand and tugged me towards the edge of the balcony. "C'mon, while he's distracted! Since our last dance was sort of interrupted by…everyone, you owe me another one!"

"I'm not sure that's how it works," I said, half-joking, but I knew that wouldn't convince him. Stepping up onto the railing, he helped me up, and just as we leapt off, into the crowd below, I heard Mub, who'd slithered to the railing to see, yell: "Stealing a dude's girl while he isn't looking! That's low, bro! That's low!"

"Man, he is delusional," Nod muttered after we landed, pulling me close so as not to be jostled by the crowd.

"Delusional, but adorable," I corrected, chuckling to myself.

"Yeah, well, he DOES have good taste in women." This would have been really cute of him to say, had he not coupled it with the cheesiest eyebrow waggle I'd ever seen.

"Ug!" Shoving him away playfully, he took hold of my hands and pulled me in again. "You're such a weirdo!"

"Yeah, but I'm your weirdo."

"I guess you are."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

"MK, you know, it's sort of hard to steer this bird when you're leaning on me like that." Nod was silent for a moment, and then twisted to look behind him. "MK, are you listening…MK?" It took him a minute to realize I'd dozed off as we flew through the forest. "MK!" Raising his voice to a shout to break through my hazy sleepiness, I jerked awake, nearly tumbling from the saddle.

"What!?" I squeaked, looking around frantically, before I remembered where I was.

"You dozed off on me," Nod said, whipping his bird around an oncoming tree branch.

"Oh. I'm sorry," I stretched then, letting out a tremendous yawn. "It's just, I'm not very good with parties; I get so worn out."

"Yeah well, falling asleep on the back of a bird is dangerous, and I should know. I've done it." He paused, as if mulling something over in is head. "You're too beat to make it back to your house. You know what? You're coming to my house." Pulling on the reins, he made the sloppiest u-turn I've ever seen and headed back in the direction of the colony.

"What!?" This snapped me out of my drowsiness, but only momentarily. "I can't…that's not…my Dad will-"

"Oh, don't worry about your dad. I'll have one of the Leafmen on duty deliver a message to him. Something about, 'Your daughter passed out after a raging party and is crashing at her boyfriend's house. But don't worry! He's totally trustworthy, he promises!'" Grinning sideways at me, I suppose he expected a laugh, but I wasn't going to give him one.

"Nod," I said in a cautionary tone.

"Alright, alright, it'll be more along the lines of "It's unsafe to fly MK home because she's so tired she might fall off and get hurt, so she's spending the night with the Colony, and will be home in the morning.' Is that suitably boring enough for you?"

"…I dunno. I've never slept at a guy's house before. Call me old fashioned but," another yawn permeated my sentence, "it's just something me and my Mom decided I shouldn't do." This seemed to surprise him a little, and I could see the tips of his ears going pink, and I suspected his cheeks were the same color.

"Oh, I didn't mean…You'd just be sleeping, that's all! I was actually serious about that trustworthy part; but if you'd prefer, you could stay with Ronin, or maybe one of the Leafwomen could-" His words tumbled out of his mouth so fast, I almost didn't catch most of them in my sleepy stupor.

"I know what you meant. It's just," I paused and smiled, and used our old 'catchphrase', "I barely know you." This eased him up a bit, and he laughed, though I could still detect some of his nerves in his voice. I knew, had I been fully rested and in my right mind, I would have been blushing and stuttering as well; but in this state I was too tired to care. "No, but, I trust you. Plus, I have been wanting to see your house, ever since you told me you had your own." Nod brightened at this.

"Well, it's hardly a 'house' really. Just a little hole in the wall thing." And hole in the wall it was; it was literally a hole in a tree. As Nod landed his sparrow on a nearby branch and helped me off, holding onto my waist to steady me and keep me from falling, I saw that his was not the only little apartment type place; the trees surrounding the area sported similar doorways, and I guessed this was where the Leafmen resided. It seemed almost like a dorm.

Pushing open the front door, the inside was dark, seeing as there were no electric lights, but a bright shaft of moonlight was cast through a window to the left, and I could make out the gist of the area; there was a little living room type space, with an arch-doorway that led to what I think was the kitchen. A door at the back of the space led to what I assumed was Nod's bedroom. And that was basically it; it was desperately small. But as Nod showed me in, he seemed pretty proud of the place.

"You wait in here; I'll go find a platoon with some time to spare to deliver the message to your dad." He took a moment to poke his head around, making sure it was empty except for us, and closed the door behind him as he left. This meant, at least for the next few minutes, the place was mine for the snooping.

I wished I had been more awake for this potentially once in a lifetime opportunity. I started in the kitchen, but when I found it in the state of general disarray you'd imagine any bachelor's kitchen to be in, I moved on. The tiny living room, if you could call it that, was pretty similar, though here and there, little ribbons and medals hung on the walls. Upon closer inspection, I found that most of them had to do with racing; he'd told me a bit about it while I'd still been moping in my house. It sounded dangerous, stupid, meaningless, and just the sort of thing Nod would be into. I rolled my eyes.

There was one medal that was different than all the others. This one was not jagged around the edges or dented; it was official, with little carvings around the rim, and it was plated with gold. It's inscription read: "Medal of Valor", and when I flipped it over, a name was engraved on the back; Grey. It didn't hit me immediately, but I eventually realized that, this must have been given to Nod, after his father died serving the Leafmen.

I was still for a moment. I wondered what kind of man Grey had been. Nod had told me a bit about him, but was still closed off for the most part, vaguely redirecting the conversation if I ever asked specific questions. But I knew that Nod had loved him, with all his heart, and still did. And if Nod loved him so much, he must have been a fantastic dad.

Flipping the medal back over to it's original position, I moved on, walking up to the door at the back of the room, and turning the little brass knob. It was even darker in the second room; the only window being small and round, and cast only a small sliver of moonlight. It was tiny in there, and there was really only enough room for the bed and the dresser that stood on the far wall. I walked in and inspected the bed; disheveled and unmade; typical man. Rolling my eyes, I intended to just straighten out the covers a bit, but the blanket was incredibly soft, most likely spiders silk. And I was so tired, and before I knew it, I'd curled up in the heap of blanket and sheets, pulling them up to my chin and snuggling down. I was just drifting off, my mind settling into the foggy haze of slumber, when I had a startling thought.

Nod had referred to himself as my boyfriend. Boyfriend. …Did that make me his girlfriend!? I didn't have any time to ponder it though. In seconds, I was out like a light.

* * *

Nod opened the door quietly, he didn't know if I was asleep yet or not. The front room was empty, though his bedroom door stood open. As softly as he could, he shut the front door and went to investigate, he peeked his head into the dark side room and let out a sigh when he saw me, hunkered down in his bed, a mass of pillows and sheets piled around me.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he tried to decide the best course of action. He was tired as well, and the thought of curling up next to me was pretty enticing; until he remembered what I'd said about the whole situation. He knew I probably wouldn't like it if he just invited himself to sleep in the same bed as me (even though it was HIS bed) and even though all that would be happening was sleep, he cared too much about what I would think his intentions were to indulge in his whims. So, shutting the door behind him, he flopped onto the little sofa in the living room, and fell asleep there.

* * *

"MK." I knew that voice. That voice was familiar. "MK." What did the voice want; it wasn't real! It couldn't be real…could it?

"…Mom?" I called out into the darkness cautiously, a little afraid of the answer.

"MK." This time I was sure, it was her. She was calling to me, but I couldn't see from where. I started to run in the direction I thought her voice was coming from, but every time she called out, it seemed to be from a different location. And this blackness was so impenetrable, I couldn't see a thing!

"Mom! Where are you!?" Tears started to run from my eyes; was she really here!? Was I really going to get to see her!? My own mother, I thought she was dead!

"MK…why?" This stopped me dead; why was she asking that? Why what? I was soon answered. "Why have you left me behind?"

"What!? No, I haven't left you behind!" I was horrified; what did she mean? "I haven't left anyone behind!"

"You've betrayed us, MK! How could you? We loved you!"

"Mom!" Tears dripped from my cheeks; I couldn't hold them in. I was all out sprinting in every direction, and still I could not find her. "Mom! No! Please!"

"We loved you…we loved you…we…loved…you…" Her voice grew dimmer and dimmer, until finally, it was gone. And in the last deafening moment of silence, I heard her scream.

Waking instantly from the nightmare, I could still here her voice, loud and clear, screaming in my head. What was wrong!? Why was this happening!? It wasn't until Nod burst in, face devoid of color and breathing heavy that I realized the sound was coming from me; I was screaming.

"MK! What's wrong!? What happened!?" He looked like he was ready to punch the lights out of anyone who would dare intrude in his house; but there was no intruder. Not a real one, anyway. Just my intrusive thoughts.

"Nothing, I'm…I just had a bad dream," I said, voice still shaking, and went I rubbed my eyes, I felt tears. I'd been crying in my sleep. "I'm fine. I'm sorry." Nod relaxed a tiny bit, but continued to stare at me. I must have looked awful.

"Are you alright?" He seemed uncertain of what to do.

"It was just a dream, I'm totally fine, really." I tried to even my voice out, but I failed miserably. His shoulders relaxed and he rubbed one of his eyes with the palm of his hand; relieved that there was no real danger. "I'm sorry I screamed like that and woke you."

"You couldn't help it, it was just a dream," he told me, though I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. It was the middle of the night, and I had basically woken him up for nothing. Great, MK. Just great. An awkward moment passed, before I realized what I thought he'd been thinking.

"Oh! I'm in your bed, aren't I?" Trying to untangle my limbs from the blankets, I stood up, unbalanced and still groggy from the dream. Nod didn't seem angry or annoyed, though, and held out his hands to stop me.

"No, no! It's okay! You can stay here!" His smile was tired, but warm, and I couldn't help but reciprocate it. "Go back to sleep, MK. I'll see you in the morning." He seemed like he wanted to lean forward and kiss me, but he hesitated. He might have thought it was inappropriate, given the current situation, but I would have welcomed it. Anything to calm my frayed nerves. Instead, though, he bowed, as was Leafman custom, and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

And then I was alone in the darkness, with just my thoughts to fill the silence. And my thoughts were what I was most afraid of right now.

I tried, I really did try to go back to sleep. I bundled myself up again and shut my eyes, trying as hard as I could to just go out like a light. But every time I started to drift off, I would hear her voice again. It was too much for me, I couldn't handle it! Hearing her, saying those things to me, that I had betrayed her, that she had trusted me, it was just too much! I would jerk away every time, and find myself alone and breathing heavy, afraid of even closing my eyes to the darkness around me.

I could hear Nod's steady breathing as I opened the bedroom door and peeked out. He was sprawled out on the couch on his back, one arm and his left leg dangling off the edge. His other arm was tucked up behind his head, and his face was lax and peaceful; he was already fast asleep. I hoped he was a deep sleeper as well. Tiptoeing over, I carefully, trying not to wake him, sat at the edge of the sofa next to him. Lying down next to him, I rested my head on his chest, the rhythmic rise and fall sort of soothing. Curling into his side, I felt safer next to him, like even my nightmares couldn't touch me when I was sleeping next to Nod. A small smile formed on my lips as I drifted off, for the first time that night quite peacefully.

Just as I'd settled into a comfortable and dreamless sleep, Nod shifted in his sleep slightly, and woke when his body realized it wasn't alone. He was surprised at first; what was on top of him, pinning him down!? But after his head cleared of the initial confused panic and he realized it was just me, he let out a relieved sigh, and settled back down. Wrapping his arm around me, he finally drifted back off as well, and the rest of the night was quiet.


End file.
